Acceptance, Tolerance, and Judgement: How Should We Be?

Acceptance? Tolerance? Judgement? Is there a right way to be? Who defines how we should be and what is the filter that we should use?

Today, we encounter all of people shouting out for acceptance and tolerance. Then when you state your Opinon or view about an issue and it's different from their perspective, often you are accused of being judgmental. But are you? I think we need to examine these words that society seems to like to use against certain groups of people, as well as for other groups.

What does it mean to be accepting or tolerant? Well I can speak for myself in that I was always taught that accepting means you condone the behavior of someone/group, as good or ok in your book. Tolerance on the other hand means that you deal with certain groups or issues in a day to day basis with a reference to how it affects your life. Let me give you an example from my own personal life. I accept that we live in a nation that has a large diversity of people with different backgrounds. Why? I accept that because I believe that is the way every nation should be. But, I tolerate the fact that I live in a country where women have the “right” to abort a child and where we are one of the very few countries who STILL HAVE THE DEATH PENALTY! In my opinion, I think that is very sad however, I tolerate this because I can not (on my own) change those things. It will take time and alot of effort to change are view on abortion or the death penalty. I have to deal with those issues as they relate to my life. To me this is the distinct difference between acceptance and tolerance. If you differ with my opinion please leave a comment and let's chat about it. :)

Now, what about judgement? Often we hear people say "Only Jesus can judge me"! Is this true? Well, yes it is but they are misusing this statement. They are using it as a defense mechanism so as to not be held accountable for their actions, beliefs, or past (often all of these are negative). Where as when Jesus said “Judge not lest you be judged." -(Matt 7:1-3), what He was speaking of (and biblical scholars are very clear about this) is RASH JUDGEMENT. Not judgement in and out of itself, but imprudent and harmful judgement upon your fellow human being. There is a difference between making a distinction between what is morally right/wrong and not being compassionate towards others. So let me give an example of this. Let us say I am a Counselor for a Rehabilitation Center. The Center has just brought me a new person who was just admitted and I have to explain to them why they were at the Center. For whatever reason, he/she might say "who are you to judge me? You make mistakes like me". My response would be, "Yes you are correct. The difference between us however, is that I am not the one who has been doing the actions you have been doing. I'm not judging you because your need for rehab is objective to all who encounter you. You judged me by just assuming that since I'm not on your end of the desk, that I think I'm perfect and you are not." That is what it means to judge. When you make unfair, unwise, and rash assumptions of a person/group. This is the exact OPPOSITE of what Jesus was teaching.

OKAY! Now let's see how all this fits together. 

So should we be accepting or tolerant? Yes we should. But we need to be prudent due to the fact that  we live very much now in a society where objective standards are not respected as much Ethical Relativism is very ramped right now! To be a properly formed person, who is striving for peace and justice for all, you must be wise about moral issues. You do not have to accept something as okay or morally right, if you think it is wrong, just because everyone in society says it's okay. And visa versa. Pray about it! Research! Discuss! Be informed and let yourself be formed!

Remember there is a difference between making distinctions and being judgmental. 

Also let me make another point. It is not wise for you to hide behind a certain belief system and manipulate it to your standards because you have a prejudice towards certain groups of people. Don't use God as your rationalization for hate, bigotry, or discrimination. God is not a God of hate. God is love. If you are someone like the Westboro Baptist Church who uses the Sacred Scriptures to justify their angry and demonic hate towards LGBTQ people, then you have no right to call yourself Christian, because Jesus never taught what they teach. Accept what is objectively right. Tolerate what you do not like, but work hard to get rid of it. Do not be imprudent about your judgements towards people or issues. Make proper distinctions. The Roman Catholic Religious Order known as the Order of Preachers (Dominicans) say that their official position on life is:

Seldom Affirm 
Never Deny 
Always distinguish